Devil I Am, Angel She Is
by Jenie
Summary: Draco's fallen, and he realizes that the one he loves he'll never deserve. Another songfic from me! Set to "Even Angels Fall"


**Disclaimer:  Draco, Hermione, Harry and Ron belong to J. K. Rowling. The song, "Even Angels Fall" belongs to a singer- or a songwriter – who's name I do not know.  Do not sue me!**

Draco walked quickly down the hallway.  He repeated the Malfoy rulebook to himself in his head.

_Malfoys__ do not cry, Malfoys do not run, Malfoys do not cause a scene.  _

However, he wanted to do all three.

**You found hope, you found faith**

**Found how fast she could take it away**

**Found it true love, lost your heart**

**Now you don't know who you are**

He continued the list of rules.

_Malfoys__ do not have hope or faith – it is beneath them.  Malfoys do not fall in love – they marry to oblige their family.  Most importantly, Malfoys always know exactly who they are – they are exactly what's stated in this rulebook._

Yes, it was easy enough to recite the book of rules to himself.  But that didn't solve his problem.  He felt the tears threatening to spill out of his eyes.  He needed to find somewhere to sit unseen – and fast.  Before he made a fool of himself where anyone could see.  Quickly, he moved into a room that only he knew about.

**She made it easy, made it free**

**Made you hurt til you couldn't see**

**Sometimes it stops, sometimes it flows**

**Baby, that**** is how love goes**

He sank down to the ground, his back leaning against the cold, hard wall.  The tears he had been holding back flowed easily now.

_How does she do this to me?  How can I love her so much it hurts?_

It all started easily enough – which was surprisingly, as he had been trained never to undertake something easy.

_"If it is easy, Draco, it isn't worth your time."  His father had told him this time and time again.  However, this one time, Draco's heart didn't listen to the warnings his head was screaming._

It happened in the place she loved the most – the library.  She had been sitting there, minding her own business.  She normally did just that – it was Potter and Weasley who always started the fights from their end. Draco had been plotting something evil to say to her – what it was, exactly, he couldn't remember.  But before he could get the words out of his mouth, she had looked up.

That one look had made the words die in his throat.  He stood there for a moment, staring into her chocolate brown eyes that seemed wise beyond her years.  In that moment he noticed things about her that he had never seen before. Her hair was not strictly brown, but had natural highlights of both red and gold, which made her appear as if she was just stepping out of a fire – a ready made Fire Goddess, if you would.  He also noticed the freckles that were sprinkled across her face – and he wondered if she had and freckles anywhere else.  He was distracted from this train of thought when her mouth opened.

"Draco, close your mouth and go away.  Harry and Ron will be here any minute and I really don't want to see you hurt for doing nothing."

He nodded slowly.  There was something about her, something that kept his attention far longer than was wise.  This was proven by a fist hitting his face.  Apparently, Potter and Weasley had arrived early.

Then this entrancing and elegant girl opened her mouth again, and _defended him.  "You idiots!  He wasn't even doing anything!"_

Potter and Weasley were so shocked by her defending him that they stopped pounding him long enough for him to sneak away.  Just before he left the library, he turned and saw her standing tall and proud against the arguments her two best friends were giving her.  Weasley was declaring loudly, "We were just protecting you from him.  He was probably trying to figure out how to kidnap you or something.  I will do whatever it takes to keep you from being hurt.  Especially if it means I get to completely destroy Malfoy."  As the doors swung shut behind him, the last thing he heard her say was, "He doesn't deserve that.  No one deserves that."

How could he not love her after that?

**You will fly and you will crawl **

**God knows even angels fall**

**No such thing as you've lost it all**

**God know even angels fall**

Yet she could hurt him so badly at times.  Aye, and make him mad as well.  And, of course, when he got mad, his temper would get the best of him, and he would say things he didn't mean.  Things like, "Mudblood," or "The only reason Potter and Weasley stick around you is because you're a brain."  Immediately afterwards, he'd wish he could take back those words, the ones that used to create tears in her eyes.  But now, all he ever got out of her was a soul-searching look, and a shake of the head.  She hadn't found what she was looking for.  

So for the rest of the day, he'd feel like a heel – or, very appropriately, a snake.  This only made everything worse, in his opinion.

**And it's a secret no one tells**

**One day it's heaven, one day it's hell**

**And it's no fairy tale, take it from me**

**That's the way it's supposed to be**

Oh _Gods how it hurt when he felt like that.  It was his own personal hell, which was created by a girl who probably didn't even know she had this power over him._

And no one could ever know she had this power over him.  For both his sake – and hers.  

No, there would be no fairy tale ending for him and his true love.  No riding off into the sunset to live happily ever after.  No sudden miracles – such as the fact that she was also pining for him.  Not one piece of fairy tale for one Mr. Draco Malfoy.

And no one would know that there might have been.

**You will fly and you will crawl **

**God knows even angels fall**

**No such thing as you've lost it all**

**God know even angels fall**

He would take off, flying as fast as he could, but he could never escape.  He could not escape the fact that he was spawn of the devil, and she, well, she was an angel.

And even though he'd read the muggle book entitled "The Bible" and had read about fallen angels, he never put any faith in that.  After all, it was all well and good for muggles to believe that they could always be saved – that they were always loved.   But not one of those muggles belonged to the family Malfoy.  No one could possibly love a Malfoy – not anymore.

**You laugh, you cry, no one knows why**

**But oh the thrill of it all**

**You're on the ride, you might as well**

**Open your eyes**

And he did cry about the fact that she couldn't possibly love him.  Matter of fact, he laughed about it some of the time too.  Laughing about it always seemed to be the better answer, for at least Malfoys could occasionally laugh.

No, he knew that his love could never be returned.  But at the same time, he wasn't about to try to break his own heart.  He was only going to experience love one time – so he better enjoy it while it lasts.  After all, once it's gone, it would never come again.

**You will fly and you will crawl **

**God knows even angels fall**

**No such thing as you've lost it all**

**God know even angels fall**

Knowing this however, was what finally made him break down into tears this time.  _Forever.__  I can't go forever without her.  He stood suddenly.  __I'll go to her again.  I'll make her look me in the eyes until she sees what she wants to see, and is satisfied.  He wiped his eyes on his robe quickly; then stood.  He knew exactly where to find her._

**No trumpets sound when the important decisions of our life are made.**

**Destiny is made known silently.**

**~Agnes de Mille~**

**A/N: Thanks to my beta for this story – Laura-Grace.**

**Please Review  **


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